Funny

McSweenys (www.mcsweeneys.net)

Among the cleverest webpages around, offering cutting and insightful satire on current events.

• Ernest Hemingway Visits Chappell Roan’s Pink Pony Club
• Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” Where the Hills Really Are White Elephants
• Your Body’s Updated Terms of Service
• Been There, Smelled That: The Aromatic Journey of an Ethiopian Coffee Ceremony
• The Aged King and the Nearly as Aged Dragon
• We Just Can’t Find Enough Boys to Do the Broadway Play
• Dead; Don’t Care
• Live Like Prehistoric Man by Purchasing My Elaborate Supplement Routine

Sad and Useless (www.sadanduseless.com)

Offers mostly meme-style humor––quick one liners attached to images. It's great for a daily dopamine dose.

• Funny And Slightly Offensive Plates by Kamila Majcher
• The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Mark Anderson
• The Weird World of Competitive Dog Grooming
• The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Kate Curtis
• Man Slings Pizzas Into The Wild, Calls It Art. Is This Art?
• The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Frank Cotham
• Banana Duck: So Much Better Than a Garden Gnome!
• The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Ken Krimstein

Babylon Bee (babylonbee.com)

A Christian version of the Onion, but you don't have to be a believer to enjoy the Bee!

• Heroic Trump Talks Long Enough For Matt Gaetz's Botox To Wear Off
• Secret Service Says It Is Working Tirelessly To Investigate Anyone Criticizing Their Incompetence
• Entire Microsoft Network Goes Down After Greg Removes USB Device Without Clicking 'Eject' First
• Trump Selling Official $250 Golden Ear Bandages
• Desperate Democrats List Job Opening For Presidential Candidate On LinkedIn
• EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Inside Sources Say Biden Is Definitely Either Going To Step Down Or Stay In The Race But For Sure One Of The Two

Whiskey Leaks (www.whiskeyleaks.net)

Cmbines Onion-esque satire with...well, more Onion-esque satire.

• Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While Humans Stuck At Home
• Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
• ‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For Relevance
• President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
• Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And Resources To Keep Paying Us After He Loses
• Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
• Swastika Actually Ancient German Symbol of Hate And Genocide In Some Cultures
• Diminishing Roll Losing Hope It Will Ever Be Mounted

The Hard Times (thehardtimes.net)

Describes itself as a "lifestyle blog for hard times," and just like the hard times in your life, it's dark.

• Global Internet Self-Destructs After Having to Livestream Kid Rock RNC Performance
• Therapist Clarifies That Self-Care Can Include Masturbation, But It Can’t Only Be Masturbation
• Nine Great Wine and Antidepressant Pairings You Should Really Stop Driving On
• Biden Offers Stern Warning to Potential Democrat Opponents: “Look, Listen, I’m Prepared Give a Holler to the Boys Who Come Back And I’m the Guy With The Fact of the Matter Is I’m Seeing the Wind Whistle and Ready to Find the Lost Meat”
• Every All Album Ranked Worst to Best
• Wanna Feel Old: Gargoyles Came Out 30 Years Ago, and You’re a Loser
• Thrifty Millennial Saves $50 by Spending 4 Hours Shopping at 7 Different Grocery Stores
• Scientists Warn Sunday Scaries Could Begin as Early as Thursday by 2035

The Onion (www.theonion.com)

Your number one source for fake news, since before fake news was a thing. Even though their news is fake, their insight is real.

• Trump Accepts GOP Nomination
• The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Simone Biles
• Petting Zoo Selling Toddler Fingers For 25 Cents
• MLB Reminds White Sox That Games Televised
• Plastic Surgeon Tears New Wife Down To The Studs
• Completely Alone Man Really Thought Blowing Out Birthday Candle In Dark Apartment Would Have Cheered Him Up
• Archaeologists Celebrate After Uncovering Ancient Certificate Congratulating Them For Finding All The Stuff
• Trump On Accepting Nomination: ‘This Is Boring, I’m So Bored’

Passive Aggressive Notes (www.passiveaggressivenotes.com)

Delivers exactly what it promises: roommates, coworkers, and neighbors solving conflict through passive aggression.

• Coming soon, from Pixar…
• Donna, bring a sweater
• You can’t spare three squares?
• Happy Birthday, and see you soon! xoxo, Cancer
• Namaste, asshole.
• That’s MBA-speak for “machine’s broken”
• Are you a grouch?
• Song of the PANflute

Reddit Humor (www.reddit.com)

Shares more in-depth funny articles, rather than the cheap gags.

• Petting Zoo's Desperate Measure: Fingertips for Sale
• Waffle Stompers! Lost Commercial from 1974!
• TIL The Onion: Man's Birthday Celebration Falls Flat in Dark Apartment
• Jimmy Does a Prank Call Live On Stage! | Jimmy Carr: Laughs Funny

The Blogess (thebloggess.com)

A wife and mother, and her blog has won multiple awards for its dark humor and relatability.

• On the positive side, we have a lot of anniversaries.
• Pretty deadly things
• FOR SALE: SLIGHTLY USED COFFIN
• Twenty eight years ago (yesterday). I wrote this yesterday and then apparently never hit publish. I am the worst.
• July is for reading.
• It’s Friday!
• Is this a universal problem between husbands and wives or is it just us?
• Maybe everyone is getting gay possums?

Reddit Funny (www.reddit.com)

Redditors share all sorts of funny pictures, videos, text, and more in bite-sized bits.

• Bring me to life (moshibass)
• OMG I just saw Spider Man!
• The Crowdstrike fiasco could've been avoided by consulting Bret Hart
• I keep seeing this bumper sticker in Oregon
• Books I thrifted. The 70s were a different time.
• The secret
• Husband, woman, the old, child.
• This is exactly what someone who works at "Plastics" would think food looks like.

Awkward Family Photos (awkwardfamilyphotos.com)

Don't expect moderately awkward family photos here, because this site brings you only full-blown family awkwardness.

• She’s With the Band
• Boss Lady
• Power Mullet
• Power Pose
• The Hobbyists
• Ghost Baby
• Chuck’s Cheese
• The Bunnies & The Bees

Lord Voldemort (twitter.com)

• Is "Crosby" even a real name?
• #19YearsLater #BackToHogwarts
• "I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time" @taylorswift13 #snakes pic.twitter.com/Y4mQousLeq
• #HarryPotter20 There will always be magic.
• Hermione tries to play Quidditch but hits her head, accidentally transfigures the furniture & goes to the Yule Ball? tinyurl.com/j56r4oz
• 2016 was channeling The Little Mermaid and ended the year by stealing Mariah Carey's voice.
• Time to find some fantastic beasts.
• *Ahem* time.com/4413658/donald… #DebateNight #HarryPotter

Some ecards (twitter.com)

• The tattoo artists who refuse this stuff are heroes. someecards.com/life/life/tatt…
• People have strong feelings about this one. someecards.com/life/life/mom-…
• Remember to take a shower before work, everyone. 😳 someecards.com/news/news/15-p…
• She is getting Biblically burned 🙏😂 someecards.com/life/women/wom…
• I always feel like, some 🐟 is watching me. Can't get no privacy. 😂 someecards.com/cute/kids/twee…
• Babies aren't known for their restaurant skills...😁 someecards.com/news/news/woma…
• These videos are adorable (the baby blankets not so much) 😂 someecards.com/life/childhood…
• Tamp it down. someecards.com/life/lifestyle…

Shit Girls Say (twitter.com)

• My lips are so dry.
• I can’t believe it’s already August
• I can’t believe it’s already August!
• I can’t believe it’s already August...
• It’s Meghan, with an H.
• Jumanji. Jumaaanji. Jumaaaaaaanji.
• Hey all! It's Graydon (the girl from Shit Girls Say) and I just wanted to let you know that I'm vlogging on a new channel on @YouTube! Check out my first makeup tutorial here: youtube.com/watch?v=-LpAUc… And don't forget to subscribe! pic.twitter.com/a3BIYyHaaO
• 😘

Elizabeth Windsor (twitter.com)

• Not you, Andrew. pic.twitter.com/65lsScGx8v
• The UK’s Covid-19 track and trace capability currently involves an ankle tag on Dominic Cummings.
• Text from Boris Johnson: “Dominic Cummings is not going anywhere!” Bit late for that, moonbeam. #dominiccunmings
• Even Prince Andrew thinks this is a disaster. #dominicummngs
• Prince Andrew was sweating watching that press conference, and that’s extremely unusual. #dominicummngs
• #Eurovision is cancelled this year, but thankfully the BBC are broadcasting a special programme to remind us all what an odd bunch of people the Europeans are.
• Not sure it’s wise of President Macron to describe Coronavirus as a ‘war’. The French don’t have the best track record in that sort of thing.
• Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday One’s Majesty, Happy Birthday to One! #QueensBirthday #94Today #StillReigning

Thoughts of Dog (twitter.com)

• it is the human’s first time trying to change the world. and they are exhausted. so while they rest for a little bit. i have stolen their sign. and will trot proudly around the house with it. until they are ready. to fight again
• h*ck it, thread of black-owned dog businesses that deserve a fat slice of that $100 billion we’re estimated to spend on our pets this year... boogiethepug.com/black-owned-do…
• today was supposed to be one of those days. where the human invites a bunch of frens over. someone would eventually drop a plate of food. and it would be my time to shine. but because that can’t happen. the human has been dropping little snacks for me on purpose. all afternoon
• it appears my stuffed fren sebastian. has had a growth spurt
• surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out
• ❤️
• i love you. and there’s nothing you can do about it
• recently. my only responsibility. has been convincing the human to get out of bed in the morning. so tomorrow we’re making pancakes. because who can say no to pancakes

Darth Vader (twitter.com)

• Note to @DeathStarPR: Conscript personal bugler to accompany me wherever I go from now on. twitter.com/RexChapman/sta…
• I fixed your video for you, the music wasn't good! pic.twitter.com/PCO5MiLL2y
• pic.twitter.com/Und7ovFAjh
• #MayThe4th be with all the workers the Walt Disney corporation laid off and left without medical insurance during a global pandemic while it was still taking in millions upon millions in profit And with every tweet that Disney try to copyright for using a hashtag
• Walking the dogs during the quarantine May the Fourth be with you. twitter.com/Buitengebieden…
• pic.twitter.com/tlqyRJLnLf
• I am authorizing the deal - pray I don’t authorize it further. twitter.com/Acosta/status/…
• Very sad to announce that we have been forced to blow up Alderaan for the good of the galactic economy but rest assured they were all happy to sacrifice themselves to keep your credits flowing. #Heroes

Jonny Sun (twitter.com)

• congratulations taylor!!! this is exciting!!
• Funny how they knew exactly what the word meant when they said Defund Planned Parenthood
• PLEASE share this thread of the white lady explaining this revolution so that we don’t have to for the folks still confused. twitter.com/designmom/stat…
• BREAKING: Minneapolis City Council members have announced their intent to disband the Minneapolis Police Department and invest in community-led public safety.
• LISA HAVE YOU PLAYED A SHORT HIKE
• I THINK YOU WOULD LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH
• Some of y’all really think defunding the police is radical and crazy but they defund schools every year. Chicago shut down 50 schools in black and brown communities at once saying they don’t have the money. That same year, the police budget increased.
• j*sse is so terrible

Jen Statsky (twitter.com)

• hey @MayorOfLA you need to #DefundThePolice and not just by 150 million. We won’t stop until you support #PeoplesBudgetLA pic.twitter.com/y33CLDlEN6
• Visit defund12.org/la to send a pre-written email to city council requesting the #PeoplesBudgetLA be implemented. Even if you want to put your own spin on it, the template is a good place to start and autofills the emails! Do it now!
• Good morning Los Angeles. Here’s a very easy action you can take today to make our schools a little bit safer. Bit.ly/abolishLASPD pic.twitter.com/zq6Sb6INY9
• Today please give to the Homeless Black Trans women fund. Match me? #BlackLivesMatter #BlackTransLivesMatter gofundme.com/f/homeless-bla… pic.twitter.com/k7Q4pdbh3Q
• matched ❤️ pic.twitter.com/gSgsQsFGCA
• y’all were raised by a book? grow up and be raised by a television 🙄 twitter.com/katiejoyofosho…
• The number of views this video has (just on twitter) is now almost double the population of the city of LA twitter.com/NickAndert/sta…
• this is incredible theappeal.org/minneapolis-ci…

Joe Mande (twitter.com)

• Bye, y’all! I’m leaving! pic.twitter.com/whxU12KDO0
• get fucked
• what do you think of Milo’s singing voice
• pic.twitter.com/9XCSeqZPLa
• you got two hours bro
• i remember
• please fire her for this tweet
• The world is to sensitive... everybody R e l a x!!!

Life Coachers (twitter.com)

• ALWAYS SHOW GRATITUDE BECAUSE POSITIVITY IS A BOOMERANG AND WILL COME BACK TO YOU IN THE FORM OF MONEY J/K EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE, FUCK IT ALL
• IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH
• WHEN YOU'RE A LEGEND IN YOUR OWN MIND YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IN LIFE EXCEPT YOU CAN'T AND YOU'LL PROBABLY GET ARRESTED BUT THEN YOU'LL BE COOL
• WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS JUST HOPE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN SNEEZED ON BY SOMEONE WITH THE CORONAVIRUS
• DON'T MURDER PEOPLE BECAUSE FRANKLY THAT'S A LOT OF FUCKING WORK FOR VERY LITTLE SATISFACTION
• KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE THROUGH ALL THESE TRIALS BECAUSE YOUR FRIENDS SECRETLY FIND YOUR CORNY BULLSHIT HILARIOUS.
• BE NICE TO EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT MEET AN ANGEL OR A SERIAL KILLER OR YOUR REAL DAD
• ALWAYS REMEMBER IN TIMES OF DESPAIR: SOMETHING SOMETHING SOME HIPPIE BULLSHIT FAKE POSITIVITY NAMASTE